The Potter Twins and the Philosopher Stone
by Rated T Because I'm Paranoid
Summary: Harry has a hundred more twins it's just that JK forgot to put them in her work! Parody Fic. Don't own anything.
1. Chapter 1 & 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter all I own is the Potter Sisters/Brothers!  
****P.S: This is a parody people please don't take it seriously!**

* * *

Chapter One  
The twins who lived

Lily was laughing happily, playing with her many sons and daughters. They were all twins, and there were about one hundred in total. James gave them all a cookie each and forgot his wand in the other room. He was totally unprepared for the door to break and in stepped Lord Voldie! "Oh my God it's Lord Voldie, take the twins and run, I'll hold him off!" James screamed. Lily grabbed fifty of the twins, the others crawled up the stairs. "In here, my babies!" Lily whispered, and they went into the nursery. She dumped them all in the Cot. They all cried and wailed ... except Harry.

Harry stood boldly in the middle of them all, comforting his sisters and brothers. Voldie burst in. "Avada Kedavra!" He killed Lily with a swish of his wand. The babies howled and helpfully formed a line, Harry at the head. "You no let me hurt my twins!" Harry said in this cute baby voice. Voldie laughed.  
"Harry I am going to kill you and all your twins because you are all the Chosen Twins!" He cackled, chuckling darkly. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" All the babies except Harry screamed, one after the other like a big Mexican wave but with screams.

But the green light bounced off Harry onto Voldie, and then off Voldie onto the other sister, and back onto Voldie and off onto the other brother, etc. It had almost hit all the babies but it didn't hit the one at the end, because it killed Voldie first. Voldie screamed and exploded. The babies screamed. They fell to the floor.

* * *

CHAPTER TWO  
Private Drive

"POTTERS! Wake up!" Aunt Petunia shouted at the cupboard door before going up stairs to wake Duddy-dear. Inside the cupboard slept the Potter Twins, all hundred of them crammed inside a little cupboard. "It's so cruel that Auntie Petunie makes us all sleep in a little cupboard," Lily JR said. All the other twins agreed, and Harry nodded. "Yeah but come on guys or we'll be late for breakfast," They all got dressed and poured out of the cupboard into the kitchen.  
"POTTERS MAKE THE BREAKFAST," Vernon shouted.

All the Potters looked exactly the same apart from their gender. They all had green eyes and black hair, and glasses, and a lightning bolt scar. Except one small girl, Lillian, who _didn't _have a lightning bolt scar. The Potter Twins started to make the eggs and bacon, when Dudley came in. "Oi how many presents do I have? There's not enough I want moooorreee!" Dudley moaned. "And Potter Twins make my breakfast FASTER."  
"Yes Dudley," The Potter twins said going as fast as they could.


	2. Chapter 3 & 4

_**Thank you for the reviews guys! It is very much appriciated  
****Dreamjanus - I know, I would use it if I was writing properly (though Lily wouldn't give birth too 100 Kids at once if I was writing properly) but thanks  
****Aria Saeryen - glad u enjoyed it**_

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Chapter Three  
The Zoo

"Potters get in the car," Uncle V snarled, "And no more funny tricks or you'll be in that cupboard, with no food or no meals for a long time!"  
"OK Uncle Vernon," The twins chorused and got in the car. They all could fit in the back with Dudley and his friend Piers.  
"Hey I had this really awesome dream last night," Harry began.  
"Where there was this really cool flying motorbike," His twins finished, then looked at each other surprised.

"Wow we all had the same dream?!" Harry said, surprised.  
"NO TALKING ABOUT FLYING MOTORBIKES THEY DON'T FLY!" Vernon shouted making the Potter Twins jump out of their skins.  
"We know Uncle V it was just a dream," They chorused.  
"Well don't talk about it again." Finally they got to the zoo.

Vernon got Dudley an ice cream from the van.  
"Maybe all those twins would like one too?" The kind lady said pointing to the twins.  
"Yes please!" They said in unison and happily ate the ice cream. They walked into the reptile house and ran up to the snakes.  
"It's soo like boring!" Dudley said and walked off.

"_Hello ... Potter Twins." _A voice said, it was coming from the snake. The snake winked.  
"OMG did that snake just wink?" Tracey Potter shouted out.  
"I think it did and it talked to us too!" Harry said.  
"I didn't hear anything," Lillian said sadly. Why could her twins always do awesome things when she couldn't?

"Oh my god the Potters are making the snake move!" Dudley barged in, shoving Harry. The Potter Twins fell like dominos, Dudley laughed and banged on the glass, which vanished. Now it was the Potter Twins turn to laugh as Dudley fell in, and he got trapped. The snake slithered out hissing as it went, _"thanks Potter Twins ..." _Vernon and Petunia ran up to the glass screaming.  
"Oh my God Duddy dearest is trapped in the glass!" Screamed Petunia

"..." Said Uncle Vernon he was so outraged. He turned to the Potter Twins. They all stopped laughing at once as Uncle V glared at them.

* * *

Chapter Four  
Mysterious Letters

The next day 100 letters came through the letter box, "One for each of us," Mary Potter said.  
"But who would be writing to us?" Sue Potter said.  
"No one ever writes to us!" Harry added. Before the Twins had time to open the letters Uncle V stormed in.  
"Give me back those letters!" He shouted.

"No!" The twins shouted back Uncle V snatched the letters out of their hands.  
"He's sooo mean," Annabel Potter said.  
"I hate him," Otter Potter said.  
"So do I," Harry agreed.


	3. Chapter 5

_to justwriteit1: thanks, I try my best!_

**CHAPTER FIVE  
Lighthouse**

"Hey, Potter Twins," Uncle V marched into the cupboard. "Auntie P and I have a feeling that this cupboard is a bit small for all hundred of you,"  
"Oh, NOW he realises!" Harry snorted. The other twins murmured in agreement.  
"I was wondering if you wanted to move into Dudley's old bedroom."

"WHAT?" Dudley shouted. "IT'S NOT FAIR! THAT'S MY BEDROOM," The Potter Twins went up the stairs and into their new room.  
"Cool," James Potter II said, gloomily. "I just want a letter!"  
"Same," James Potter VII agreed.  
"GIVE IT BACK IT'S MY ROOM!" Dudley shouted from downstairs.

A few days later it was Sunday. "I love Sundays," Uncle V said.  
Uncle V and Auntie P sat in the sitting room with Dudley D. Not forgetting the Potter Twins.  
"It's soo boring!" Complained Spotter Ed Potter  
"Don't worry Ed our lives will get better," Lizzie Potter assured herself as much Spotter Ed Potter

Just then Harry noticed an owl outside. "Strange ..." He muttered. Just then Uncle V and Auntie P screamed, and Dudley D fell of his chair. Letters were coming out of the fire place. The Potter Twins laughed and jumped up and down trying to catch one but Uncle V stopped them. "WE'RE MOVING AWAY!" He yelled.

* * *

They all arrived at a lighthouse. "They'll never find us here," Uncle V cackled. Dudley had only packed a TV and Uncle V scolded him because he had no PJs to sleep in. "Hey guys it's our birthday," Harry remembered suddenly once the other Dursleys were asleep.  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US," The Potter Twins sang softly. Dudley was busy snoring loudly.  
"Make a wish, everyone," Harry ordered. " 3 ... 2 ... 1."

The door fell open. The Potter twins backed into a corner scared. A giant came in through the door. "Hello Harry," The giant said to Dudley. "Where are yeh twins?"  
"I'm not a Potter Twin!" Dudley said, looking scared.  
"Of course yeh not!" Hagrid boomed as the Potter Twins emerged from the hiding place.

"Potter Twins I have letters for yeh!" Hagrid said, and out of his pocket fell one hundred letters. Dudley almost drowned in the sea of letters but Lillian saved him just in time. "Find yeh letter," Hagrid told them. "Oh and I baked a cake," Hagrid produced a cake. It was quite small but wouldn't feed 100 twins, but it fed the Potter Twins. It was like that story in the Bible with Jesus feeding those men some fish. Dudley tried to sneak a piece but Hagrid just turned him into a pig. The Potter Twins laughed and shouted

Meanwhile upstairs Uncle V and Auntie P slept peacefully unaware that Hagrid was telling the Potter Twins that they were witches and wizards. They were unaware that their son was now had a pigs tail. They were unaware that the Potter Twins went out of the house and off to Diagon Alley or where ever. Dudley had to explain to them later on why he had a pigs table and what happened to the Potter Twins.


	4. Chapter Six

Thanks to Aria Saeryen for reviewing - twice! I got back from guide camp yesterday, just thought you'd wanna know ... yes I have changed my username. And If I'm not mistaken then this is

**Chapter Six **

"So Hagrid, where are we going first?" Harry asked.  
"Weeelll," Hagrid replied. "We're going to Gringots! The Wizarding Bank! Over there!" And he pointed.  
"Woaah," The Potter twins exclaimed. Hagrid began to skip merrily up the hill and the Potter Twins followed.  
"I would like to go see Harry's vault, and Alex's vault, and Jake's ..." Hagrid continued to name all the Potter Twins.

"Key please." The Goblin ordered. Hagrid took out one hundred keys from his very big pocket. The Potter Twins separated into different directions to their vaults but they were soon back with pockets full of Galleons. "OK, now to Ollivanders!" Hagrid announced. "To get wands!"  
"YAY!" Cheered all the Potter Twins. They had been looking forward to this. Hagrid and the Potter Twins walked down the street people staring at the Potter twins scars. "_Oh my god it's the Potter Twins,_" Random strangers whispered.

Hagrid and the twins walked into Ollivanders. "Hey Mr Ollivander," Hagrid called.  
"Hello Potter Twins, I've been expecting you!" Mr Ollivander said, emerging from the shadows.  
"I'll be outside," Hagrid said and left.  
"Hm. Harry. Try this." Ollivander handed Harry a wand. "No, no, defiantly not!"

All the wands seemed to be the wrong wands. "I wonder," Ollivander whispered. "Try this," Ollivander gave the Twins a wand each. They waved the wands - it was the right wand! "Fantastic!" Ollivander cheered. "But ... curious." He looked at the scars. "There was a Phoenix .. name of Fawkes. He gave 101 feathers and it so happened that you should choose it."  
"You said 101 there are only 100 of us!" Harry corrected.

"Yes, one wand went to the wizard who killed your parents and who gave you that scar!" Ollivander whispered. Then to Hagrid, "Oh by the way Hagrid, how is Fawkes?"  
"Very well," Hagrid said coming back in. "I have a pic," And he showed a black and white moving photo of a very bald phoenix.

* * *

**short chapter I know but I can only write this much I don't have many good ideas. **


	5. Chapter Seven

_Yay - I'm back! :) Sorry for not updating but I thought I'd give enough time for people to look at it ... so far no luck :(_

**Chapter Seven **

The Potter Twins went off to Kings Cross. On their tickets it said _Platform Nine And Three Quarters _but "There's no such thing," Jamie said. "Right?"  
"... so many Muggles! Come on!" A woman said. A red headed family walked in. "... Percy you first." The twins watched in astonishment as Percy ran through the barrier! "... Fred, George, you next!" The Woman said. The twins exchanged excited looks - Fred and George were twins, too! Identical twins. The Weasley twins ran through the barrier.

"Excuse me," All the twins said at once. "Can you tell us how to ... "  
"How to get onto the platform?" Mrs Weasley said knowingly. "Just run through the brick wall, dears!" The twins gathered up all their courage and Elsie said.  
"Let's run through together,"  
"Good idea," Harry said.

They all held hands in a row and ran through the wall at once! "Platform nine and three quarters!" Harry gasped. The others gasped. They tried to put their trunks onto the train but it was just too heavy, so Fred and George had to help them. "Thanks," The Potter Twins said in unison.  
"You're welcome," The Weasley Twins said in unison. "We're Gred and Forge,"  
"We're the Potter Twins!"

"No way!" Fred said.  
"No way!" George said.  
"Yes way," The Potter twins said grinning. Fred and George walked off so the Potter Twins could find a compartment. They managed to find one that was three and some how they all crammed in. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, the compartments couldn't hold less than ten but they all managed it somehow ...

Then Ron came in. "Hey guys is there space?"  
"Are you stupid, Ronald?" Lizzie Potter said (she was a Seer you see, she knew Ron's name), "Of course they're space!" Lizzie laughed. "Take a seat." And no, Lizzie wasn't being sarcastic. Ron came in and sat down. "I'm Ronald Weasley but you can call me Ron,"  
"We're the Potter twins!"

"Are you really?" Ron gasped starting at them. "Do you have the ... scar?" He whispered. Reluctantly they lifted up their fringes and showed Ron.  
Later on a girl named Hermione came in. "... Have you seen a toad? A boy named Neville Longbottom's lost one ..."  
"My name is Neville," Neville Potter pipped up.  
"And my name's Hermione," Hermione Potter pipped up. "But you can call me Herm."

Hermione smiled at Herm. "Sorry we haven't seen a toad," Said Ron.  
"Sorry," The Potter Twins said at once.


	6. Chapter Eight

_**I do believe I have a new follower. Either it's Inspiration Lives On or SirROTGUT I can't remember which came first. I thank you both for following anyway but PLEASE REVIEW NEXT TIME! :/**_

**Chapter Eight**

"Firs' years over here!" Said a voice.  
"Hagrid!" The Potter twins shouted, happy. They jumped off the Hogwarts Express and ran up towards the Hogwarts Gameskeeper.  
"Ello, Potter Twins!" Hagrid said, gruffly. "'Ow are you?"  
"Fine thanks Hagrid!" The Potter Twins answered.

"NO MORE THAN FOUR TO A BOAT!" Hagrid shouted.  
"Oh Damn it," Harry whispered. "Oh well if we all get on maybe Hagrid won't notice!" So the Potter Twins, Ron, and two others clambered on. Due to the Potter Twins weight the boat capsized. "Come on!" The Potter twins sighed. "I mean, we're not that heavy!" All the eyes fell on Ron.  
"Sorry ..." Ron mumbled. "I like to eat a lot!"

Harry laughed, shaking his head. "Oh look there's Hogwarts!" Ron gasped. The Potter Twins gasped.  
"'Ere we are!" Hagrid boomed. "'Ogwarts School for the Witches & Wizards." Everyone all climbed up into the school.  
"Well well who do we have here?" A voice demanded. "So the famous Potter twins are coming to school!"  
"Er ..." The Potter Twins said awkwardly. "Yes we are."

"I'm Malfoy. Draco Malfoy." Ron sniggered. "Think my name's funny do you? Red hair, and a hand me down robe. You MUST be a Weasel."  
"My name's Ron Weasel," Ron admitted.  
"Ah hem." Professor McGonagall interrupted. "Please follow me to get sorted."  
"Yes Professor," Everyone chorused.

McG lead them up the hall up to the stool. "Hermione Granger," McG called. Hermione tottered nervously up to the stool.  
"GRYFINDOR!"  
"Draco Malfoy,"  
"SLYTHERIN!"

"Susan Bones!"  
"HUFFLEPUFF!"  
"Harry Potter." Everyone started to whisper. "_Harry Potter? Oh so those must be his twins."  
_"Hmm Mr Potter. You and all your other twins here ... where to put you? I see bravery but you WOULD be good in Slytherin you know ..."

_**NO! **_All the Potter Twins thought. Conveniently they had a telepathic connection which might be something to do with the scars on their forehead.  
"GRYFINDOR!" All the other twins joined Harry at the Gryfindor table soon enough. They all managed to fit somehow.


End file.
